Jarvis

Oh Jarvis Cocker, what a beguiling character you are. A wild icon of modern pop music, by turns bookish, bolshy and at the worst of times, blood-laced with drugs, you are so funny acerbic, off-the-cuff and downright witty up there on the stage, that I wish I had made a bit more effort to see you when you were still in Pulp. You are so cool, your dancing is like watching high-spreed karate performed by a Chuckle brother and everything about you wreaks of worthiness. I am in awe of you performing before me.

Except, bloody hell, your new material isn’t half bollocks. Yes, it’s the sad truth. After huge anticipation, queues round the block, and a hell of a lot of between song banter that, really, sincerely, was wonderful enough a performance in its own right, Jarvis’ first foray into solo touring is a bit of a cop-out. Sheffield’s Plug may be rammed to the gills and people may be cheering and singing in with inimitable Sheffield gusto, but it doesn’t take long before the atmosphere’s sunk into passive mediocrity.

It starts off well enough, as the man bursts out with a fast-paced rip through 'Fat Children'. Watching him contort about the stage under epilepsy-inducing stage lights is fearsome and absurd, like a moment of chaos from a Marquis de Sade imagining, except devoid of any sexual deviance or sh*t chucking. The pace continues with excellent first single ‘Don’t Let Him Waste Your Time’, which causes mass sing alongs and general merriment within the venue.

And then? Ohhhhh deaarrrrrrr. The harsh truth, Jarvis doesn’t really have any other good songs. Well, not until he reaches the end of his set, with ‘Black Magic’ and the radio un-friendly ‘C*nts Are Still Running The World’. The fifty minute gap in between the start and end couldn’t be more indifferent. He talks the talk, "It’s the Chinese New Year today (Wasn't it Chinese new year on Friday? - ed). This year it’s the year of the Chicken... which let’s face it, is pretty much the year of the Cocker", yes yes very funny, but the song your following it up with, ‘Disney Time’, is anything but. Slow and boring, the only slight raise of game comes with "Ipswich to Auschwitz", but it’s still not enough to save things.

We love Jarvis. He is funny. He is smart. He was in Pulp for a very long time and Pulp were absolutely bloody brilliant. After leaving them, he said he was going to retire. It was his anger over Live 8 that inspired him to write ‘Cunts Are Still Running The World’, the only song tonight that reaches any of the musical peaks his old band achieved. After the amazing response the song got after sneaking out on My Space, he indulged himself in a whole solo album. As a result, it all sounded like a bit of an afterthought. Tonight’s show only confirmed this, and what a real shame it is.

FUTURE GIGS

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