Cosmo Jarvis chats to eGigs on final night of tour

talking touring, making movies, gay pirate marriage, and more on Monday 4 March 2013

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eGigs caught up with Cosmo Jarvis last week on the last night of his current tour. Half expecting to find him jaded and interviewed out it was a pleasure to find the opposite was true – friendly, lucid, incredibly honest and happy to answer whatever question was thrown at him.....

Cosmo Jarvis

So this is the last gig of this tour... How's it been going?
It's been several average sized tours for me put together really – started back in Germany and then before that Australia – this is the last one – just a couple of sporadic gigs here and there – this is pretty much it.

Any particular tour highlights? Any tales of decadence?
A couple of tales of decadence. It's always a sausage fest on tour for us for the most part. It's always just us and we keep ourselves amused really. They're all too gross to say really to be honest. It's been a pretty good tour. We've just got through it. Some nights have been harder than others.

Any particular tour lowlights?
Yes – Coventry – Two people came – Dave's Auntie Cynth came. She's great. She's an absolute legend. Yeah man, It was just two people – and a load of drunk students. We gave it our all. We played the heaviest set we've ever played.

So – the last time you played here at the Musician supporting Mad Dog Mcrea you were fighting the flu.. Are you fighting fit now? Hopefully fans won't get covered in your snot tonight?
I'm feeling better now. Which is really fucked up considering as this is the last night of the tour. I think my throat is just getting used to the pounding I give it every night. I'm not ill. It's been cold but I'm not ill. When we went to Germany it was -8 and -10. I've learnt from that.

Marmite – yes or no?
Yes – it's a great savoury option on toast. You don't have to use a lot of it to get the flavour of it. It's quite concentrated. Very powerful stuff. I don't know what the fuck it tastes like but I like whatever it tastes like – and also Vegemite too.

What does the rest of 2013 hold for you?
I've completed a screenplay for a movie called 'Abandoned Hope' – it's a realistic black comedy about a metal band. There's a metal band whose definitions of success are hugely tested, in particular the main character Howard. His father was a huge success in the 80's with his metal band. He kind of has to compete with whatever it was that made his father's metal band fail and he kind of has to figure out whether he's inevitably going to become his deadbeat, MDMA, crack and ketamine addicted father. That's the plan. I'm hopefully going to make that in the spring and then there's going to be a new album to make as well.

Any festivals coming up in the summer? Other than Boardmasters which I see has been announced?
That's all we've got. I'd love to get on to Glastonbury. I have nothing there. I've been trying for fucking four years. I don't really know who to talk to. A mate of mine called Mad Dog Mike who's in Mad Dog McCrea told me to look at the Avalon Stage. I don't know who to talk to. I will try. They're probably all booked up. I'd love to play Glastonbury. It would be awesome.

What are your views on gay pirate marriage?
I'm absolutely fine with it if it can be done. I don't know how that would work. I don't know what pirates views on marriage in general were. They were away from their wives for a long time, if they had any, for years on end. If they're on the same boat I say it's a good idea.

Last time eGigs interviewed you, you said how entirely horrible Panic at the Disco were as people... In the time since, who's matched them for sheer horribleness?
Fuck – who else have I met. Bombay Bicycle Club were boring. It seemed as if they didn't need to venture outside the realm of their own band at this festival - the Falls festival in Australia. There's definitely another band. I can't remember. I stopped caring after Panic at the Disco. Rodrigo y Gabriela were ace. They signed my mandolin for me but it rubbed off from sweat. I walked into their dressing room and didn't even announce myself and didn't even speak their fucking language. But they were really nice. They were like 'sure no problem'.

In terms of music, idiosyncratic, genre-hopping, eclectic – these all terms I've heard you described as – what genre would you describe yourself as?
Non Genre Specific I guess.

Three albums released to date - disparate as they are, I see a common theme running through them is finding your place in the world?
Yeah – and also finding your place with people. Finding your place in the world and just within social situations.

My favourite track on 'Think Bigger' is 'Who do you want me to be?'. I'd always seen that as being about a partner rolling over and agreeing to whatever to keep the other partner happy. But the sleeve notes suggest it's a bit more than that?
What do the sleeve notes say? It's a really old song but I like it. It's just through school like – for me it was really easy to read what other groups of people appreciated for their elite, whether it was trivial things such as interests or in groups of intellect or displays of alpha-maleism - whatever it was - and it was really easy for me to tap into that and just pretend it was no skin of my back to make myself that person for the day just to see what it was like to – because like for me I never really understood why things that many people praised I didn't really understand as being worth anything – because they were never things that I would see as being outstanding or excellent or through or perfect or even close to that. They were always just like very temporary false attributes that you could quite easily nail to yourself if you were that way inclined and I happened to be that way inclined. So I just kind of would do whatever to successfully navigate between many groups of people. That's kind of what the song was about. And also women came into that thing. Relating to girls, that was even worse man.

Let's talk film again – 'The Naughty Room' came out on itunes yesterday– I've not seen it. It's about parenting. I'm a Dad of a 15 year old. Why should I watch it?
You should definitely watch it. I think you'd probably get both sides of it. The side of the movie that's more relateable to kids that age - where you can have all the freedom in the world if you want and it's very easy to just fuck off and have your own independent mind. You don't know what to do with it at that age but you think you might do. A lot of it focuses on that - what level of self responsibility should a young person in the world allocate to themselves and attain themselves in order to be a functioning human being. It also considers the parenting side of things which is like how easy it is to allow your own agenda as a human being and your own thoughts as a human being, despite having these objects of total devotion and love that have, how easy it is to allow these things to compromise what might have once been your overall philosophy of how you'd like to raise a child - how they can slowly - you can make your child think whatever you want.

It's kind of about that about - how any life example can be found anywhere and it doesn't have to be from a parent. A parent shouldn't throw around their position lightly. But at the same time it also says that kids are little cunts and they fuck up your entire what you had before. You can't do what you want to do. I'm not a fucking parent. It's really hard. I'm not selling it well. I like to think it's a fair movie from both sides. He should see the movie if he gets the chance.

UKIP came second in yesterday's Eastleigh by-election. What are your views on this?
What the fuck is UKIP? I was asked that this morning. Are they like the EDL? It's bollocks. Firstly, the country they're saying should be independent has totally contradicted that by using force on numerous other countries and will continue to do that as long as they have power. Secondly, they're not even English anyway, no-one is. It doesn't exist anymore. Thirdly it's just a ridiculous idea. I understand why they're scared though, those kinds of people. Integration has made some of the most amazing beautiful things that have ever been. That'll always be the way. I don't understand how stupid they don't think they are. It's a tricky subject.

Where do you see yourself in five years time?
Hopefully alive. I'll be living somewhere new. I'm being made homeless next Thursday. When I get back I've got to sort that out. I don't even know where I'm going to go. I'm in Paignton now – an even bigger shithole than Plymouth. I'm going to find something to do. I don't know what. I want to finish this film. I'm going to smoke less weed than I do because it's become a problem over the tour. It's very easy to smoke a load of weed and get through a tour – because of some of the delicate social scenarios I find myself in, it's very easy to just wake up the next day with no real recollection of anything. I don't do it for creating anything or anything like that. So yeah, make this movie. Make this next album and hopefully get some work as an actor in other peoples movies as well as my own. People say I'm an actor but I'm just an actor in my own films at the moment. I know Woody Allen did it. I want to get more acting work. The only reason I haven't is because I've been so busy trying to keep my music career still floating. Music will always be a side effect of living for me.

And finally the last question from my friend Amanda – her question was – if you had the choice between having a really tiny head and an arse so large it's almost impossible to fit into a pair of trousers what would you choose?
How small would your head be? Like a shrunken head? Like a nipple ? The great big arse – people have them anyway. I could just get work as an editor or something. Just sit down on it. Actually wait a minute - you could get rid of the arse through exercising loads. The head wouldn't grow back would it? That's a real problem. How small would your brain be? I don't know. It's a tricky one but I'd choose the arse.

Thanks so much for that Cosmo. You're a busy man and I won't keep you any longer. I'm looking forward to the gig later.
Cool – I probably could have given you better answers – more concise answers man – Don't mention the cunt thing. (Note: I didn't). Hope you got something out of it though.

And with that Cosmo heads off to catch up with his band mates before hitting the stage.

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article by: Sean Tizzard

published: 04/03/2013 11:07


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